The Hatred of Esau

Numbers 20:17-20 NKJV
Please let us pass through your country. We will not pass through fields or vineyards, nor will we drink water from wells; we will go along the King's Highway; we will not turn aside to the right hand or to the left until we have passed through your territory.' " (18) Then Edom said to him, "You shall not pass through my land, lest I come out against you with the sword." (19) So the children of Israel said to him, "We will go by the Highway, and if I or my livestock drink any of your water, then I will pay for it; let me only pass through on foot, nothing more." (20) Then he said, "You shall not pass through." So Edom came out against them with many men and with a strong hand.

In this week's Torah portion we find the children of Israel seeking passage through the territory of Edom (descendants of Esau, Gen 36:8). What they meet is a strong hand of resistance from the Edomites, a less-than-brotherly, "may God be with you," reception upon returning to the Land of Canaan. The response of the king of Edom is tart with the vinegar of contempt, hatred, and unforgiveness. What are we able to learn from the Edomite's refusal of passage to the sons of Israel? First, we must consider the origin of the feud, then attempt to explain how it was perpetuated, and recognize behaviors typical of Esau/Edom to correct in our own lives. May God spare us from the profane behavior and curses of Esau!

The Beginning of Strife
As Proverbs (Mishlei) reminds us (17:14) "The beginning of strife is like releasing water; therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts," the first principle of containing hatred is to head off trouble before it starts, to make peace in our relationships. This was not the choice of Esau, and based on Esau's own declaration that he hated Jacob and planned to kill him, Jacob had few options in trying to mend the breech.

So Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing with which his father blessed him, and Esau said in his heart, "The days of mourning for my father are at hand; then I will kill my brother Jacob." Genesis 27:41 NKJV

By the time Jacob returns from Haran (Gen 33), Esau's anger has abated, but his bitterness and contempt for Jacob have taken root. It is clear by Jacob's reluctance for Esau to remain with him on his journeys, and Jacob's decision to journey to Succoth rather than Mt. Seir as he said, that Jacob could not trust Esau, that there was a tacit coldness and distance. Because of Esau's failure to repent of his own faults, and to repair the damage he had caused, there could not be a restoration of the relationship.

Perpetuation of a Cycle
In the book of Obadiah we read that the animosity of the sons of Edom against the sons of Israel continued. Not only did the Edomites looked down proudly and rejoice in the destruction of Jerusalem by the Babylonians, they also stood at the crossroads (of perhaps even the same highway that they would not let the Israelites cross in this week's portion), and they cut off those who were trying to escape.

"For violence against your brother Jacob, Shame shall cover you, And you shall be cut off forever. (11) In the day that you stood on the other side— In the day that strangers carried captive his forces, When foreigners entered his gates And cast lots for Jerusalem— Even you were as one of them. (12) "But you should not have gazed on the day of your brother In the day of his captivity; Nor should you have rejoiced over the children of Judah In the day of their destruction; Nor should you have spoken proudly In the day of distress. (13) You should not have entered the gate of My people In the day of their calamity. Indeed, you should not have gazed on their affliction In the day of their calamity, Nor laid hands on their substance In the day of their calamity. (14) You should not have stood at the crossroads To cut off those among them who escaped; Nor should you have delivered up those among them who remained In the day of distress. (15) "For the day of the LORD upon all the nations is near; As you have done, it shall be done to you; Your reprisal shall return upon your own head. Obadiah 1:10-15 NKJV

The Edomites cursed Israel as they entered the land, and cut them down at the crossroads as they were leaving it. They hated the sons of Israel as they were coming in and going out. The sons of Israel were commanded to instruct their children according to the words of the Torah when "you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up." (Deut. 6:7) What were the sons of Edom learning? To hate the sons of Israel as they came into the land, to hate them when they were sent out from the land, to hate them when they lie down, to hate them when they rise up. In this way, each generation rehearsed the story of what Jacob "did to their father," never realizing and admitting that Esau's punishment resulted from his own sin. The sons of Edom continued to hate the sons of Jacob with an "ancient hatred," according to the prophet Ezekiel.

"Because you have had an ancient hatred, and have shed the blood of the children of Israel by the power of the sword at the time of their calamity.. Ezekiel 35:5 NKJV

In repeating a past grievance and attempting to assign blame to Jacob and his sons for their lost inheritance, a root of bitterness was nourished, and the Edomites became even as Cain. For Cain, when his sacrifice was not accepted, became angry and his countenance fell. Instead of trying to learn why his sacrifice was not accepted, he killed his brother, wrongly concluding that Able was the source of his problems. But while Cain yet had a choice, the Lord spoke to him:

If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it." Genesis 4:7 NKJV

Unequivocally, the error and responsibility belonged to Cain. Likewise, the sale of the birthright and the subsequent loss of the blessing resulted from Esau's decision, and his disappointment and anger can only rightly be directed at himself. Had Esau done well, would he not have been accepted? Perhaps Jacob would still rule over him, as was determined before they were born, but would not have a brotherly relationship such as that of Moses and Aaron been possible?

Free from Bitterness, Ready for Blessing
In the book of Hebrews we are warned against allowing a root of bitterness to spring up, and in the immediate context we are reminded of Esau's failure. Not only did he despise his inheritance, he failed to turn from his error, nurturing discontent and hatred for Jacob in his own heart and leaving it as a heritage to "defile many" in the following generations, including the generation that told the returning Israelites to take a hike. How can we avoid these errors? Let us consult the same passage in Hebrews:

Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: (15) looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled; (16) lest there be any fornicator or profane person like Esau, who for one morsel of food sold his birthright. (17) For you know that afterward, when he wanted to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no place for repentance, though he sought it diligently with tears. Hebrews 12:14-17 NKJV

We can pursue peace, and stop contention before it starts. We can take responsibility for our sins and bad decisions, and not try to excuse ourselves based on wrongs committed against us. For in harboring hurts, we are not healed and we poison our own generations. May the Holy One, in His mercy, strengthen us to live at peace with all men.